Stepfamilies come in a variety of forms, each bringing a unique set of challenges. However, when her dad told Reddit user ProofJacket4801 that he had gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend, she didn’t think the term applied to them—the woman was already in her twenties. The same couldn’t necessarily be said for her dad’s partner, though, as she started “momming” her during one of their trips—something that seems even more peculiar after you learn of their age difference.
This young woman was surprised to see that her dad had reconnected with his ex
Image credits: fxquadro / envato (not the actual photo)
And even more so when she—who was virtually her peer—started acting like the mom
Image credits: jm_video / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ProofJacket4801
Parents should not rush to introduce their new partners to their kids
Image credits: Blake Cheek / unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D., the author of The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce, most dating relationships end before 9-12 months, so exposing your kids to a new love early on means your children risk experiencing one loss after another.
“Over time, the losses can affect your children’s future mental health and wellbeing, success in relationships, and your relationship with them,” she explains.
Buscho says parents tell her things like:
- “It’s too hard to only see my new partner during my off-duty time.”
- “I want to share my joy with my children.”
- “Janice really wants to meet my kids, and I want to see how she likes them before we go further…”
- “I just know my kids will love him. He’s so different from their dad.”
- “I know my kids want to see me happy, and I want to show them what a real loving relationship is supposed to look like.”
But she doesn’t believe these justifications will work. “Waiting to introduce your kids to someone new is important. Once your kids are ready, your new relationship is long-term and stable, then, you can begin the process,” the clinical psychologist adds.
In a 2024 survey, most (93%) Americans said they are open to dating someone older. The generations have similar views when it comes to the actual numbers, with Boomers and Gen Z preferring to date people up to seven years older and Millennials and Gen X willing to go up to eight years.
One reason Americans may prefer to date someone older is that 73% believe older partners bring more maturity to a relationship. But, financial stability also plays a role in relationships with significant age gaps, as 76% agreed it’s an important factor in such arrangements.
Opinion of Dr. Sarah Meehan O’Callaghan
Significant age gaps are often met with social judgment, especially when the difference is pronounced. While it’s true that some individuals may unconsciously reenact early attachment patterns by seeking older partners, this doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy.
It’s important to move beyond simplistic binaries of ‘good’ and ‘bad,’ while still maintaining a reasonable perspective. A top divorce lawyer, James Sexton, who views love as inherently transactional, suggests that each partner brings something unique to the dynamic – an ‘offering’ of sorts. From this standpoint, who are we to judge what one person provides to another? – Dr. Sarah Meehan O’Callaghan
On the flip side, 88% would consider dating someone younger: Boomers are comfortable with a 12-year age gap, and the figure gradually decreases across generations, with Gen Z being the least open to age gaps on the younger end.
However, almost 1 in 10 Americans surveyed, just like the Redditor’s dad, would have no problem with seeing someone the same age as their children.
The woman asked people to help her come up with smart-aleck ways to reply to her dad’s girlfriend, and they delivered
The story has received a lot of reactions
Eventually, the woman provided an update on the situation
