An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, die in a car crash…
They had been in good health for the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health, food, and exercise.
When they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter takes them to their mansion…
It is decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite, and Jacuzzi.
As they “ooh and aah”, the old man asks St. Peter how much all this was going to cost…
“It’s free,” St. Peter replies, “This is Heaven.”
Next, they go out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backs up to…
They will have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course changes to a new one representing the great golf courses found on earth.
The old man asks, “What are the green fees?… ”
St. Peter replies, “This is heaven, you can play for free.”
Next, they go to the clubhouse, and see a lavish buffet lunch with all the cuisines of the world laid out…
“How much is it to eat here?” asks the old man.
“Don’t you understand yet? This is heaven, everything is free!” St. Peter replies, with some exasperation…
“Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?” the old man asks timidly.
St. Peter answers, “That’s the best part, you can eat as much as you like, whatever you like… ”
“You will never get fat, and you will never get sick. This is Heaven.”
With that the old man erupts into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat, and stomping on it, shrieking wildly…
St. Peter and his wife both try to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looks at his wife and says, “This is all your fault!… ”
“If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins… ”
“I could have been here ten years ago!”