My mother-in-law is 78 and can no longer be left alone. Her memory is fading, her health is declining, and she refuses to move into a nursing home. Without asking me, my husband decided she would move in with us.
When he told me, I snapped. “I already have enough burdens. I’m not a free nurse.”
He shot back, “She helped us get this house. Show some gratitude.”
I didn’t argue anymore. I smiled, took care of her that day, cooked dinner, and acted like everything was fine. But that night, while my husband slept, I quietly packed my things.
The next morning, he was shocked to see my bags by the door.
“It’s either me or her,” I said.
He stood there silent, so I continued. “For years, I’ve cooked, cleaned, and handled everything without thanks. If you care so much about gratitude, then you can show it—by taking full responsibility for your mother.”
I left.
It’s been three days. My husband keeps calling, saying he’s overwhelmed trying to manage the house and care for her alone. He’s begging me to come back.
Now I’m torn. I don’t want to lose an 18-year marriage, but I also know I reached my breaking point. I didn’t say no to helping—I said no to being erased, ignored, and expected to sacrifice myself without a choice.
And I’m still asking myself if walking away was wrong—or long overdue.
