A woman walked out of the bank and suddenly realized she didn’t have her car keys. Panicked, she rushed back inside, searched her purse, then gasped, “Oh no—I must’ve left the keys in the car!”
She ran to the parking lot… and the car was gone.
Terrified, she called the police and reported the car stolen. Then came the hardest call—to her husband.
“Honey,” she stammered, “the car’s been stolen. I left the keys inside!”
There was a pause. Then he shouted, “Are you serious? I DROPPED you off at the bank—you didn’t even take the car!”
She sighed in relief. “Thank God!”
Then added, “So… can you come pick me up?”
“Sure,” he replied, “as soon as I convince the police I didn’t steal our own car!”
An elderly woman went into a bank and asked to withdraw $500.
The teller said, “For amounts under $5,000, please use the ATM.”
“Why?” the woman asked.
Annoyed, the teller replied, “Those are the rules.”
The woman paused, then said calmly, “In that case, please help me withdraw all my money.”
The teller checked her balance and froze. “Ma’am… you have $3.5 million. We don’t have that much cash. You’ll need an appointment.”
“How much can I withdraw today?” the woman asked.
“Up to $300,000.”
“Perfect,” she said.
She took $300,000, put $500 in her purse, and asked the teller to deposit the rest back.
Lesson: Never underestimate senior citizens 
